I love my babies

I can't believe they are almost 2 weeks old. I really do feel like my water just broke this morning and that we just got them, and then on the other hand it really feels like they have been here all along. I'll be very honest here - it was really hard to be head over heels in love with them right away. I was exhausted, in pain, swollen, overwhelmed and unbelievably frustrated with breast feeding that I had a really hard time bonding with them right away. Now that I'm not BF'ing and I've tried to calm down and take a "wait and see" approach to pumping, I really feel like I'm able to really enjoy them soooo much more. My heart absolutely melts everytime I see them and I actually don't dread feeding times - well except the 4 am one, but who wouldn't resent that!

In retrospect, I wish I hadnt stuck so hard to my breastfeeding routine in the hospital. It wasnt working then and I dont know why I didnt see that it wasnt. I feel like I really missed out on their first few days, but now just thinking about that, it makes it a whole lot easier to look at this pumping situation from different eyes. Yes feeding them breast milk is important to me, but not being a good mom for ANY reason is just not acceptable to me. I have to be able to more than feed them and if all I can focus on is their meals then I am not focusing on loving them as much as I can. Just realizing that fact alone makes me a better mommy and that is the most important thing to me! OMG I can't believe I'm a mommy!!! How crazy is that?!?!

My Birth Story

I can't believe i get to post this especially since they weren't "scheduled" to be born until this Friday, but here goes.

Sunday 4/5 7:30 pm - took my last terbutaline and joyfully threw the bottle away! At this point I was secretly hoping that things would hapen sooner rather than later because Iwas just miserable, but at the same time I was totally expecting to make it to my scheduled c-section on Friday 4/18. I was having contractions pretty much the entire time I was on the terbutaline, but they weren't horrible. Looking back, I had A LOT of contractions that weekend and they were getting much worse, but I just attributed it to the general feeling of crappiness that I was growing accustomed to.

Monday 4/6 3 pm - Had my weekly OB appointment and was slightly disappointed that there as no progress. My cervix had shortened but no dialation. My blood pressure was also starting to creep up, but my urine was negative and I was so close to the end anyway that there was no real concern. That night Jamie and I went shopping and I really think the walking around (for almost an hour because it took me forever to do anything pregnant) helped move things along.

Tuesday 4/7 - Ironically, I had a really great night sleep - the last for a while! I got up to pee around 6:30 am and my water broke. I was so nervous that if my water ever did break that I would confuse it for peeing myself, but there was no second guessing this. Jamie woke up and helped me get situated and we called the doctor. The boys were going to make their apprearance TODAY!!!! I called my mom and we all headed to the hospital.

From the moment we got to the hospital to the time the boys were born was only about 2.5-3 hours, but the odd thing was that it was very calm and not rushed at all. They got me all hooked up and it took the nurses FOREVER to find Jack's heartbeat. They wouldn't listen to me about where he was which pissed me off so much especially because they kept looking at each other all concerned that he was in distress or worse. Then my OB came in and told them THE SAME THING I told them about where he was and wouldn't you know it - ughh.

I was wheeled down to the OR at about 9:45 or so. The room was a lot smaller than I thought it would be and I was defintely nervous at this point. I was really nervous for the epidural because since I wasn't really having contractions I was worried that I would really feel the epi. It turns out that it wasn't bad at all and in a minute I had no feeling whatsoever. Then they brought Jamie in and things got started.

Jack Rory was born at 10:17 am weighing 5 lbs 7oz and measuring 18.5 inches long and Brayden James was born a minute later weighing 5 lbs 14 oz and measuring 18.5 inches as well. They did amazingly well right away and went right to the regular nursery where they stayed the entire time we were at the hospital. Jack had a little bit of a blood sugar issue so they gave him a bottle right away and he did just fine. They just monitored his bloodsugar for the first day.

By the time I was out of recovery and the boys were all situated it was about 2 pm - a lot longer than I had expected, but I was so exhausted from the epidural that I didn't really care. When I saw my sons for the first time I was just shocked! I was in love right away!

I stayed in the hospital an extra day and was discharged on Saturday morning after they were circumsized. Jack left weighing 5 lbs 1.5 oz and Brayden was 5 lbs 7.5 oz - such tiny peanuts :)They are just too adorable and we couldn't be happier!

Last growth scan and 33 wk belly pic

I never got around to posting this update so I thought I would do it now.

Our last growth scan was 2 wks ago on 3/20 and baby A was measuring 5lbs 6 oz and baby B was 4lbs 15oz (a month ago they were 4lbs 1oz and 3lbs 15 oz). It's crazy how big they are. I'm so curious to see how close these estimates are to their actual birth weights.

Now for some pics: Here's one from 33 wks.