Too much stress

I feel completely and totally overwhelmed and alone at the same time. The babies are going to be here soon - like possiblly a week soon - and I just feel like Jamie doesn't really get how overwhelming this is for me. I know he is a little overwhelmed by it too - he knows that it will affect his life but I dont think he can possibly sympathize with me about how overwhelming this all is for me- I know that sounds selfish - that I want him to deal with his emotions and sympathize with mine - but that's how I feel.

I still feel mad at him for all the stuff with my borthday and christmas and spending time with me / doing something nice for me but it seriously falls on deaf ears whenever we talk about it and I really just can't getover it. I want to be over it and not feel hurt about it, but it seems that the closer it comes to the babies coming the more upset I get about it because I know once they get here the idea that he will think of doing something nice for me just for the hell of it is pretty slim - and rightfully so - it will be all about the babies and it needs to be all about them, but sometimes I just wonder if he really realizes all that I've sacrificed in the last 2 years. heck within the last month alone the sacrifices have been monumental!! I just want to not be mad about it and I dont know how to and this is stressing me out.

The other thing that is stressing me out is the situation with my father. It's been over 5 wks since we've talked and I just feel so angry that he can't make the simplest effort to check in with me knowing that I am near the end. He obviously doesn't care enough to call me so I havent called him (especially after all of the baby shower drama - which he never "fixed"). What's really stressing me is the responsibilty of making a phone call is going to fall on me because I will have to call him to tell him that I am either in labor or that the babies are already here. I just dont know when to call him. I feel like if I dont call him before they are born while I'm in the hospital he will be pissed - which I dont really care about - I just don't feel like dealing with the fall out of not having called him. But then again I just feel like I should call him after they are born and inform him of what's been going on. ughhh

All of this on top of being a hormonal mess. I need a break from all this crap. I just wish someone could wisk it all away and just make things happy and normal.