A letter to my pregnant body

Dear Body,

I love that you are pregnant! I absolutely love feeling these little guys kick and squirm and hiccup inside of me (though we need to talk about the kicks below the belt - those hurt a bit). I love that you are working with this pregnancy and not fighting it and that so far it has been complication free and I hope that you appreciate the fact that I am no longer working - see I do listen if you yell loud enough. With all of that said, and please know that I mean every appreciative word I've uttered, here is a list of things I'd like to see improvement on.

1. Stretch marks - I understand that they are part of the game but seriously do they need to burn?? This is getting a little ridiculous lately. I can't even put a shirt on whitout cringing a little.

2 - The swollen ankles - aka the tree trunks - I mean seriously!! Even days when I do nothing my feet are swollen. This is a bit crazy. My socks make deep dents in my legs that actually throb! And while we're on the subject of feet - can I please put my own shoes on again at some point. It's been weeks since I've been able to put my shoes and socks on - this is a cruel joke right?? I mean I know I can't see my feet but I know they are still there and I'm well aware of the fact that I still need to dress them.

3 - This is a new one but still pretty annoying - the carpal tunnel. My hands ache so much that it wakes me up at night and I want to cry. I think I can get past this one if they hadn't been falling asleep for months. I need hands - so stop falling asleep or aching all the time. This is not fun nor is it necessary.

4 - Here is my biggest complaint - the back and hip pain!!! I mean c'mon - this is insane. It takes me a solid 2 minutes to just roll over in bed at night - something I have to do every 30 mins or so because my hips hurt so badly. It is not nice that I look like a 90 year old when I get up. I have never been so achy in my life and I serioulsy want to cry every time I have to go to the bathroom - which is obviously every other minute or so at this point - because I just know how much effort and energy it is going to take me to just get up and take that first step.

Ok - I'm glad that's all off my chest because I just don't want to complain about it to anyone else. I feel so unbelievable lucky that I'm at this point - pretty much complication free - and that of all the pains I'm feeling they are of the lesser variety. I haven't had all too many of the "unsavory side effects" of pregnancy so I know I shouldn't really complain.