To work or not to work

This shouldn't be that difficult of a decision, but it is.

Here are some reasons to stay at work - It will help us out financially. If I leave earlier than 3/27 it would mean a lot more money out of pocket for us. It would also mean a little more stress in that I would feel like I am leaving earlier than I planned and therefore cause other people more stress (I know I know - what should that matter, but it is something that weighs on my mind). I also know that if I leave work and stay at home, I might actually drive myself crazy. But I do know that the last few days that I have stayed home and just rested I feel a million times better than when I am at work. Could this just be a rough stretch? I mean I've had weeks before where I felt like I couldn't go another day and then a week later I was ok. Then there is also the fact that there is no medical reason for me to leave work just yet. My FFN was negative so I should be good until 33 weeks. My cervix is long and closed and it did not change with the little contractions episode I had and the terbutaline is working just fine.

Reasons to leave - It would be so much easier on me physically and emotionally. Even though I might drive myself carzy, I will be home and not dealing with the stress of work. I do plan on taking it down a notch at work. I don't have to be super on top of everything and people will just have to be ok with that. But anyways - if I stay home, I don't have to worry about English department stuff and NHS and actually planning to teach. Also, even though there isn't a medical reason to leave, it defintely couldn't hurt to go on bedrest. There is a very large part of me that just wants to leave earlier than I planned and I feel like that is admitting defeat if I do.

I think I will try to make it until the end of the week and see how I feel. I have an appointment on Thursday and we'll see how things are. If I need to leave then I will, and if not, then I will just take it day by day. I will defintley take it down a whole bunch at work and hopefully that will make things a little bit easier on me and then it won't be so difficult to actually be at work. I guess we'll just have to take it one day at a time and if it really gets to be too much then I will leave. I just have to be honest with myself. Right now I feel ok, but not great. I don't feel like there is a huge danger (mostly because the doctors are telling me this) but I don't feel so off that I think something is worng. I just feel like I need a little break.

Above all I need to do what is best for the babies and there is nothing I want more than for them to be safe and healthy. I will do whatever I have to for them, whatever I can for them, and I promise to keep that as the main priority of my decision making process.