15 wks 1 day

OK so I haven't been as good with this as I promised. Things seem to be going well. I made my first baby purchase the other day, but I still don't feel ready. I mean it's pretty clear that I'm pregnant and I listen to the heartbeats everyday, I guess I just still feel so unreal about the whole thing. I can't wait to feel them move and find out if they are boys or girls, or even one of each. I'm waiting for something to make me feel a little more connected and a little less skeptical about the whole thing. I know that nothing is guaranteed, but I still want to connect with these little guys / girls and I just wish that I would let myself do it. I've told everyone at work now (even my students) and they all seem more excited than I am; well, they aren't really, but they just show their excitement a lot easier.

I', excited. I'm beyond thrilled; I can't even put it into words. I want these babies so bad and I love them so much already. I guess I just have to get a little bit better at letting myself show that.