Happy New Year!!!

Though we didn't do anything... I mean we were in our PJs at like 10 pm.... it was still by far the happiest new year in a long time. I cried when the ball dropped just thinking about how our babies will be here this year. It's crazy!!! Last year was just so sad and I could barely even begin to think about celebrating the new year (especially since I was supposed to be almost 9 mos pregnant) and this year I think I was just so overwhelmed by reflecting on everything that we've been through that I was defintely in some kind of funk. I was ecstatic but I was also sad thinking about everything - the two losses, the year of stress and IF treatments and the heartache that naturally comes along with that whole process, the stress of being pregnant - yes the stress of being pregnant - after all that we've been through getting pregnant was not this innocently blissful experience that is romanticized in the movies.

But I'm happy to say that I feel like a totally different person this year. I am so much less stressed and I handle the stress I do have in my life in a completely different way than I used to. The little things defintely don't get to me anymore and I could not be more thankful for the things that I do have - I used to curse my life for being the hell that it was and wonder who the hell I pissed off in a previous life to be punished like this.

It's so crazy to think that my last day of work will be April 8th. That means that I only have to make it through January, February and March - that's nothing!!! It's sooo crazy and I am so excited to get this new year started because I just know how good it's going to be.